Tuesday, 7 February 2012

The many emotions of loss

I’m leaving,
A punch to my stomach,
My mood changes,
And then I forget,
The endorphins kick in,
Away again.

I’m leaving,
I go quiet,
I think of life without her,
Everyday longing,
And then I remember where I am,
I rejoin the conversations,
Laugh, eat, smile.

I’m leaving,
She hugs me,
I cling to her,
Now it's real,
No more ignoring it,
Putting it off,
Tears come unbidden to my eyes,
Suppressed, I smile, we kiss,
I leave but, I look back.

I’m leaving,
Excitement barely contained,
My heart is back,
A drive to the airport never was so sweet,
Life begins anew.

I wrote this poem on the 1st June 2010, it was an attempt to deal with the different emotions caused by my leaving in certain circumstances. From memory the four instances were when I was leaving a girl I had fallen in love with in Australia to go to Papua New Guinea (PNG) on holiday; while in PNG when I thought of life without her; when I was leaving the airport in Australia after her dropping her off when she went on holiday to Japan; and finally, when I was leaving home, heading back to the airport to pick her up after her Japan trip.

I thought it was really interesting that the same action, of leaving a place, had caused such different and strong emotions.

Have you experienced something similar? 

Great qoute:
It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble or hard work.
It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart.

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